lolsofunny: “My name is Bond. James Bond.” “My name is Dumbledore. Brian Dumbledore. Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.” “My name is Ramirez. de la Rosa Ramirez. Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez. Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez. Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez. Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez.” ...
surelyheavenwaitsforme: joshifereverlark: I like URLs cause they give me feelings I like writing things down and I have a notebook that is completely blank and I dont use it for anything So every single person that reblogs this will have their URL written in that book EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. you dont have to be following me or anything just reblog I dont care how many I get, I will...
diveslow: 17 year old anime character: 9-year old anime character: ¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?
Friend: Did you know sweet potatoes and potatoes are not genetically related
Or, well, not closely anyway. They're two different plants
Me: Stop. It's too early for this I haven't had my third cup of coffee yet
Haters gonna hate, and I’ll throw potatoes on them
"Are you as bored as I am?" makes sense even when...
Facebook vs. Tumblr
wolfhackles: staff: howellester: do you ever just wonder what the tumblr workers think of us we think you’re all a bunch of idiots
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!
When you finally understand Math.
xenite: “im probably the biggest nerd you’ll ever meet” “im probably the most random person ever” “youll never meet anyone like me” “im different from most girls”
emergncy: guys i feel as ignored as a white crayon the first piece of bread internet explorer the terms of agreement 18+ warning
i cybered on omegle today
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
thesassylorax: suzzannnn: when you open a new tab and can’t remember why when you close the new tab then remember why you opened it in the first place
Anonymous asked: Are you a lesbian?